Increase in Teenage Suicide Cases

Scenario One-

“Just leave me alone, go away …I don’t want to talk to anyone, I just want to die” yelled Tia slamming the door of her room .

Her parents were in a state of disbelief and anger over their daughter’s changed behaviour .

Her father knocked at her door again and said,” Tia, we don’t approve of such a behaviour at home. Stop being unreasonable.”

“Go away” she screamed from inside.

Scenario Two-

“What’s wrong with you these days? You seem very quiet, you do not talk to us or demand any favourite dishes to be cooked” she cajoled her son .

“No maa everything is fine, just the stress of exams” he said very softly.

She knew his eyes spoke a different language.

She knew it wasn’t about studies, it had something else to do with it. He was clearly hiding something.

Sadly in both the cases the boy and the girl attempted suicide.

Do you think the tragedy could have been averted?
Did the parents take an appropriate action in time? Clearly NO.

These days teenagers are going through lot of anxieties, stress, insecurity, fear and complexes. We as parents need to be very vigilant about any change of behavioural patterns. Those could be a warning signs – Red Flags .

Let’s talk about the things that trigger such behaviour and tendencies in teenagers.

A recent loss-might include the death of a family member, someone close or even a pet. The separation of parents, or a breakup (very common amongst teenagers) with a boyfriend or a girlfriend
Comparisons between siblings
Comparison with their friends
Indulgence in drugs and alcohol
Confusion about their sexual orientation. Their fear or struggle to come out in an unsupportive environment that is judgmental and not accepting
A history of domestic violence, child abuse or even a suicide history/tendency of any family member in the past
Lack of social support. They are at a very tender age of their lives, they need lot of understanding and support, acknowledgement and assurance
Being a victim of bullying leads to depression and insecurities. They develop fears and may be at increased risk for suicidal behaviour.
Sexual harassment
Pressure of performing well in studies
Body shaming
Being ridiculed by their own parents or grand parents
Changes in mood/mood swings
Changes in eating patterns
Becoming more isolated, restricting themselves to their rooms behind closed doors
Sleeping too much or too little

If a child is often talking about death or dying, you should always pay attention. Sometimes a child ends up saying that –“You’d all be better off without me” then you must not ignore this. It could just be an impulsive reaction but what if it is a well thought of sentence? It is very important to take it seriously as a parent .

Now how to help them?

My passion and purpose is to “Simplify Parenting and Celebrate Life.” Hence I like to keep my coaching & counseling simple. They say “baat se baat nikalti hai.”

It is very important to keep your door of communication open. And then you, as a parent, need to enter it first and be there for your children. Walk the talk, dear parents.
It’s important to not let children feel like they have to face stress on their own, you need to assure them that you are holding their hands in all situations.
That assurance from parent’s side is a huge support in a child’s life.
Apart from helping on your own, you must not hesitate to seek a professional help or to seek a counsellor for their child. Parents must stay involved with the process, regularly in touch with the counsellors.

Just think about it – when your child had covid or for that matter any health problem – say tooth ache, a fracture, skin issues or anything, did you even think twice before taking them to a doctor?

But when something happens on a psychological/ behavioural front, there is so much discussion, fears, reluctance and hesitation that occur. Most people hesitate to talk about it with even their close family and friends.

Mental health is still a stigma in our society.

It’s time we must spread awareness about this most common problem amongst teenagers.

A. So let’s take a pledge that

Let’s stay in touch with our children, pay attention to them. Leave your cell phones or any other things aside when they come to talk to you. Your communication should be healthy and transparent.

B. Be vigilant

Know their circle and be aware of what has been happening in their lives without being too intrusive.
Never hesitate to seek professional help .

Remember nothing is more important than the well being – physical, emotional and mental health of your child.

Baatein kiya karo, baat se hi toh baat niklegi 🙂

If you have a teenager at home or you work with teenagers in your area of expertise and would like to understand more about teenage emotions, behaviour, how to manage them then do Contact Us by leaving a comment in the comment section.

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First month of the year is coming to an end. Choose to connect, bond better with your children. Wishing you happy, conscious, mindful parenting!!!

R K

January 30, 2023 at 1:51 pm

Every child even without being taught is unknowingly sensitive towards his parents (moreso the mother) from the times when his/her umblical chord was connected to his mother. Somewhere they are still being governed by this bond. Now how can anyone deduce that they forget this bond and lose their sensitivity for parents at time of deciding to end thier existence?

So we see it is certainly not their decision as we often term such cases. As counselors we can take that one extra step to understand their predicament so we can gather a fair opinion.

In a society like India, the practice of counseling is alien, maybe adopted from the West. We project this service as a readymade remedy to such extreme adolescent behavior. However, before we take this cause up, we need to remind ourselves the big fact that we are providing a foreign Service to and for very desi minded sub-continental parents. Now these parents are produts of the Indian social mindset which is all of a diaspora of universal thoughts, culture and the ever growing mental health issues. So in short, we are trying to treat a very desi problem with international methods. Now as yawning a gap as this sounds and seems, the most basic point that needs to be kept in mind, is that these very sets of confused unconfident parents are the root causes of such glaring and fatal incidents of young lives being taken knowingly.

It may sound prejudiced however, to the young mind who bears his family’s name, he has his own world to face each day albiet with the permission coming from his parent who has ceased to grow a few decades back.

Now this huge gap in actual transcends the love, respect, gratitude and umblical sensitivity that still exists in these children. However, the all wise parent who takes Godly pride in deciding the future of his own child, is only sowing the seed for a point in future where this decision will suffocate the child to such an extent that suicide seems to be the only rational next step.

Sorry for sounding frank, however the issue demands some bitter and harsh realities to be checked. In short, wherever such cases or hints of a possible suicide looks imminent, we as a society need to shift the blame focus from the victim to the unaware hunters.